My Songbook Journal
by The Last Performer
Summary: Axel and Marluxia break in to Demyx's room to find his secret journal. What will they find of his secret and deep thoughts? Does Demyx know more about everyone than he lets on, and why is the happiest in the organization so upset?
1. Entry One

**Disclaimer: I don't own KHII and or the characters… or Utada Hikaru? She's too cool to be owned.**

Authoress note: Just wanted to let you all know I have no idea where this idea came from. First of all, let me tell you about the layout of this story. It probably will only have 1 journal entry per chapter, depending. If the entry's really short I may put in a couple entries. I don't know if this story has a plot line yet. It may develop one as it progresses. Also, I never played COM, so I have no idea of the personalities of some of the characters. Wish me luck, and please enjoy.

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Entry one 

"Shut up, Marluxia," the firey red head demanded. "We're both Demyx's friends, right? He'll forgive us. Besides, we both know something's bothering him. I'm just taking the initiative to find out what it is!"

"That's not what I mean. I know Dem won't get mad, you idiot. I wanna know why_ you_ brought me here with_ you_," Marluxia answered. As if Axel's hair won't stand out enough, stupid number VIII had to bring the _pink_ haired one along. They were both stupid, Zexion figured, as he watched them over the edge of his book.

"_They could at least be quieter if they're going to sneak in to someone's room… or less suspicious,"_ he thought with a tinge of anger. He looked back in to "Dracula" and began reading his favorite book for the 3rd time.

Demyx and Xigbar were on a mission together (for probably the 17th million time that week) to destroy a city or buy some eggs or something like that. They wouldn't be back anytime soon, Axel figured. But of course, Marluxia, as mean and cautious as he was, was convinced that Axel was an idiot and Demyx would come back to find them snooping around in his room any minute now.

Axel swiped a key from his pocket, stared at the shiny golden key for a moment in his gloved hand before he stuck it in the lock and opened the door to Demyx's room. The fire user and the earth manipulator strolled in to the water maker's room. Shutting the door behind him, Marluxia looked around number IX's room as he entered.

It was so… simple. The walls were painted blue, and his bed had simple sheets that were messy and unmade. The pillows were coverless and white, as were the under covers of the bed. By the small bed, there was a wide dresser filled with clothes and coats and whatever else Demyx wears. There was a shelf that was mostly packed with CD's of bands and singers or whatever else the hyperactive little guy listens to and a desk that had a silvery CD stereo on it accompanied by scattered papers with doodles or random song lines written on them. He had a pencil box on the desk and an electric pencil sharpener. Next to his desk was a trashcan, and next to that was Demyx's closet.

Axel was busy searching the closet as Marluxia sat down on Demyx's bed. "Hm… Graceful Assassin, get over here. I need your back." Axel and Marluxia didn't like each other. At all. Axel just brought Marluxia with him because he cared about Demyx as much as he did.

"Don't call me that, Axel," Marluxia threatened. After much searching, and Axel stepping on Marluxia's back to see places Demyx would never be able to reach because he was so short, they found a small blue journal with a couple music notes on it tucked under Demyx's mattress.

"Sorry Demyx," Axel muttered as he opened up the journal. "This is for your own good."

"How did you know he had a journal, Axel? What are you, some kinda freaky stalker after him because he's so cute?" Number XI asked in a mean, accusing tone.

"Unlike you, he tells me everything. And your thinking of Xigbar," Axel answered as he sat indifferently next to Marluxia so he could read too.

They began reading.

_February 1__st_

_Happy birthday, Demyx!  
__Zex gave me this journal for my birthday. He said I should write down the songs I came up with. Haha, yeah right! Once I play a song, if I come up with it just then I don't like it. I like putting thought in to my songs. Mostly love songs, right? Sad love songs, of course, because nobodies can't love.  
__So they say. We have no hearts, but we can long for one? Isn't that feeling? Oh well. I get "sad." When I think of things like that. I wish I could have cake or something. Marluxia was gone for my birthday, on a mission with Luxord. Stupid Luxord, stealing away my lovely Marly! Haha, just kidding, just kidding. He likes Larxene_.

Marluxia blushed, as Axel shot a smug smirk his way. "Shut up, Axel! It was a long time ago!"

"Time doesn't always change feelings, _Marly_," he smirked. That nickname and the crush gave Axel the upper hand.

_Axel was here, though. But he didn't get me cake. I thought he would! Ah, oh well. You can't hate Axel. I accidentally turned Zexion's gift in to a journal just now! Life is amazing! Not even Xiggy gave me a cake! Of course Xemnas wouldn't, Saix doesn't care, Luxord probably doesn't even know it's my birthday. Xaldin doesn't like me, Vexen… I don't care that he didn't give me a gift (he's scary!). And Lexaeus is out on some mission or something. I'm not sure.  
__Axel got me a cool CD though! Yes, another Utada Hikaru album! I LOVE HIM! It has "Deep River" on it. No cake, but I'm glad I got this! Larxene got me a cool shirt with the number 9 on it. What are the odds, right? Roxas got me some new headphones for my MP3 player! I'm glad he realized I needed them! Did I leave anyone out?  
__I have to go now! It's time for dinner!_

"What a freak," Axel ended simply as he turned the page to a new entry. "And he's got real neat handwriting when he wants to."

"He's weird. Let's keep reading," Marluxia urged eagerly.

"Weren't you the one against all this, Marluxia?" Axel asked in a chiding tone. "Whatever, why's he so depressed lately? Do you have any idea at all?" If he could avoid it, the flurry of dancing flames didn't want to invade Demyx's privacy. It was a journal, and all journals are private. Who knows what kind of thoughts Demyx secretly has all day as he smiles and jumps around and bothers people.

"Well, it was a little after he failed that mission, right? We could skip to there, but that won't be as fun," Marluxia glanced at the next entry.

"_Damn, when he gets in to things he really gets in to them,_" Axel thought with a twinge of regret as he closed the book so Marluxia couldn't peek. "I think… but it may have been sooner." Axel tried to convince himself that he wasn't coming up with excuses to read his best friends journal. "It's hard to tell when Demyx is upset… maybe he's mad because you didn't get him a birthday present."

"Shut up! It was a long time ago, ok?" Marluxia yelled. "Just lets read the next one."

Axel turned the page.

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Authoress note: Sorry this chapter's so slow. The next one will probably be better. Hopefully. I hope you enjoyed it! Come back soon (or as soon as I update)! 


	2. Entry Two

Disclaimer: I don't own L'arc En Ciel or their song "Stay Away." I love L'arc En Ciel too much to own them.

Authoress note: Yay! 5 reviews in one day! I'm so happy! Well, don't always expect such quick updates. This is just a week full of testing at school, so I don't really have homework. Wait, I have history and science… Oh well. Also, I put all my review responses at the bottom. If you'd like to read those first, please see the bottom of the page. Please enjoy the very spoiling (because it was updated so quick) chapter two!

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Entry two

The writing of the page was dark and messy. It was big and scribbled in thick lines, unlike the first entry. This entry was written out of anger.

_February 16th_

_Marluxia finally got back from his mission with Luxord! I can't believe him!! He actually __forgot__ my birthday!_ –

Axel shut the book and stared at the pink haired man. "You forgot his birthday?" He asked in a monotone voice.

Marluxia avoided eye contact as his blue eyes managed to wander to Demyx's open closet door. "Hey!" He yelled as he got up and stomped over to the closet, causing Axel to jump, and watch in shock. "This is my shirt! The brat _stole_ my vest!" Marluxia snatched the plain black sweater vest off the hanger and put it on over his white button-up shirt. He rolled up the sleeves slightly, took off the belt he was wearing and looked positively… preppy.

"Sorry, Marluxia, but you look like a pansy in that. Now, if you're done, let's get back to reading."

"Shut up. I look better than_ you_, Axel."

Axel looked down at himself. He was wearing a tight dark red shirt, with a denim jacket unbuttoned and baggy ripped jeans. Like he always did. "No," the fire user argued, "you just look rich."

Marluxia purred with a smile. "That's better than you."

Axel frowned. He lost. Marluxia, with a triumphant look on his face, sat down as they began reading Demyx's precious journal again, as the handwriting got calmer and lighter.

_Do nobodies even have birthdays? They're more like, creation days than birthdays. I'll be depressed if I keep thinking about it. I really wish… Hm, I really wish I knew who my somebody was. What was I like before I died and had my heart eaten? Who was I friends with? I would die to know who I was, or what I looked like, or what world I came from. It doesn't matter, though, because whatever world I lived in before was probably destroyed._

Before they could begin the next entry or page, there was a knock on the door. "Jeez, Axel, are you in there?"

Axel dropped the journal on the bed as he smiled and got up to open the door. "Roxas! How'd you know we were in here?" He asked as he swung open the door and a small built blonde walked in.

"You and Marluxia argue a lot, yell a lot, and Zexion said he saw you two attempt to sneak in to Demyx's room. So, what's up?" The green-eyed boy smiled as he closed the door lightly behind him and lay down on Demyx's unmade bed.

Roxas was wearing baggy khaki's and a black hoodie over something probably white or blue. His blonde hair spiked up on the right side of his head, but not like Axel's, whose spiked up way far back behind his head. But it wasn't as long as Marluxia's, who could flip his hair like most of the organization men could.

Axel glanced at Marluxia, the journal, then stared at Roxas. "Read with us."

"What?"

"Just do it!"

Axel jumped on the bed between Roxas and Marluxia, and opened the journal.

_February 21__st_

_Life sucks. I hate Xemnas and Saix. My back hurts from when Xemnas' puppy (Saix) threw me in to the desk. I ran in to a lamp, for Christ's sake!_

Under the entry was a crudely drawn sketch of Saix as a dog with a collar around his neck.

_February 25__th_

_"Maybe happy, maybe happy, I dare say I'm happy."  
__L'arc En Ciel – Stay Away_

_February 28th_

_Today's the last day of February. This was a bad month. But Axel and Roxas played with me in the pool down in the basement, and we had a water fight! I won, it was so totally awesome! Today was a good day for me! And Xiggy got ice cream from a store in some other world, just for me, because he said I looked so pathetic and cute. I'm not quite sure if that's good, and Marluxia says I have to be careful about people who want me because I'm so cute. I was in the library the other day, and I was reading other peoples journals. It was boring!  
__But man, I really don't want anybody to read my journal, that's for sure! Privacy is privacy! I'm sure Marluxia would be mad if he read through this.  
__Uh oh, I think I'm in trouble. Lexaeus just came in and said Xemnas wants me.  
__Of course I'm in trouble! Why wouldn't I be?! I HATE THIS WORLD!_

"What are you waiting for, Axel? Turn the page to the next entry!" Marluxia growled.

"But he doesn't want us to read it," Roxas cut in. "We have no right."

"We're doing this for his own good, Roxas. We want to know what's wrong with him!" Of course the pink-haired one couldn't keep from fighting.

"Whatever, Marluxia. You know how it is. You're always so nosy!" The blonde scowled. "We all know you wanna know all about everyone so you can use them as your puppets!"

"You don't know me, Roxas, don't act like you do!"

Without either of them realizing it, Axel had turned the page. "It's a song," he whispered. "A love song."

Roxas and Marluxia stared. They leaned over Axel's shoulder to read. They all knew Demyx was a musician, but they'd never heard a real _song_ of his.

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Authoress note: I hope you enjoyed that chapter. This chapter had multiple interruptions and entries. It wasn't too confusing, was it? I have no idea when I'll post a 3rd chapter, but it probably won't be tomorrow, but please look forward to it!

Review responses:

dalmation queen – Yeah, I can't imagine Demyx getting sent on many missions. Poor guy.

ANiMe-FaN810 – Soon enough for you? X)

Kysic – I hope I didn't disappoint you with this chapter. It wasn't very funny unless you find what Demyx wrote funny.

Odi8200 – Thanks, I did.

Shadow ShiningHeart – Thanks for the support.


	3. Entry Three

Disclaimer: I don't own the song from Demyx's journal. Really, neither does Demyx. I based it off a song by Johnny Mercer. I don't own "Loop and Loop" or Asian Kung Fu Generation (Ajikan!).

Authoress note: Thanks for reading! Well, I watched "Breakfast at Tiffany's" the other day. I love that movie! –Squee- In my story, it's Demyx's attempt at a song, because I don't think that Johnny Mercer live in the realm of Kingdom Hearts. But it isn't really his; I just need you guys to know that. Well, I hope those of you on Spring Break (like me) are enjoying it like I am! XD If not, maybe my story will make you feel better. I hope it will!

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Entry three_March 1st_

_I can't write songs! Arg! I can't ever write them down. I can play them on the spot, but I can't ever really write them down for later! I wonder why that is. Well, here's my attempt at lyrics:D I've decided to call it "Blue Moon Lights."  
__Blue moon light  
__Shining down on me  
__Deflecting my beliefs  
__Always_

_Old dream maker  
__You heart breaker  
__Eternally alone  
__Without you right here…_

_Two dancers  
__Never together  
__Without dreams forever  
__And you_

_Always waking up without you  
__Please dream of me too  
__Imaginary friend  
__Blue moon dreams and me_

_Haha! I think it's terrible! Blech. I bet this could be like… Saix's theme song! Oops, I'm getting called again! This time it's Xaldin._

Below the entry was a large scribble. It was dark and quick. Something must've happened with Xaldin.

"What does he mean it's terrible?" Roxas muttered, looking over the song again.

"It's ok," Marluxia agreed. "Let's read the next one!"

Axel turned the notebook over to reveal a darkly written entry. All three assumed Demyx was _pissed_ when he wrote this. It's so hard to tell when Demyx is mad or upset. Big things have to happen that completely blow his confidence that make him show when something's wrong. Something big must've happened lately.

_March 2nd_

_I couldn't sleep last night because I was so angry. That damn Xaldin threw me in the damned refrigerator! Nobodies probably don't even have to eat! Oh my God! He wouldn't stop throwing me in to things until Xigbar came and yelled at him! Thank God! If he didn't that pissy Xaldin probably would've stabbed me! I couldn't stop crying. I'm so embarrassed I can't stand it. Maybe I should tell Axel or something, then he'd probably just jump him with Xigbar. I'm glad they both care, but he must've had a reason for trying to kill me. Right? Unless I'm just a useless punching bag to him. That damn Xaldin._

The flame user, the flower manipulator, and the key barer stared at the messy diary entry. They should've noticed, right? Demyx is always his smiley, stupid self. But hey, everyone has problems, even if they don't act like it. No drama in his life, right. He was still a nobody, just like them. He died, and was forced in to the organization just like them, right? Everybody has drama in their life.

"That damn Xaldin!" Axel finally yelled to break the silence. Marluxia nodded in agreement and Roxas managed a small ", yeah," in to the conversation.

"Would you just shut up?!" A voice came as the round doorknob turned and a small form opened the door. "I'm so tired of listening to you guys! I'm trying to read my favorite book!"

The young boy glared from his left blue eye. His short silvery hair covered his other eye. Despite his age, he looked as young as Demyx or Roxas, but he was really as old as Marluxia or Axel. He was wearing the general black organization coat that all the members had but usually didn't wear. The boy was probably cold, even though he was probably wearing a long-sleeved shirt under the coat.

"Oh… Uh, hey, Zexion," Axel stalled.

"What are you even doing in here?!" He yelled. "That's the gift I gave Demyx isn't it? Why are you reading it? He told me he made it a journal! How could you read his journal?"

Roxas decided to stay out of all this. Zexion never talked this much, and it was agreed that this was just plain scary. Marluxia decided to speak up. He always spoke up against all the wrong people. "Shut up, Zexion. We're trying to find out what's wrong with him!"

"So you noticed, too?" Zexion asked in a hushed tone of his usual self.

"Who couldn't?" Axel stared at Zexion seriously. "Got any idea about why he's so depressed?"

"He hasn't told you? But you're his best friend," he asked quietly, walking slowly in to the room and sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"I know I am. I'm real surprised that he hasn't said anything. All he does is sit in here or on the couch or something and clean or cry," Axel smiled sadly, fiddling with the blue journal he held in his hands. "I think Xemnas said something to him or something, or maybe Saix did something."

"Do you think perhaps one of_ us_ did something?" Zexion asked without turning his head towards them. He stared at the empty wall, like he was searching for something that wasn't there. The blue eye shot from one thing to another, without seeing any of them.

"Like what?" Marluxia cut in as if he were completely sinless. "He doesn't really ever get mad at any of us!"

"Shut up, Marluxia," Axel groaned. "You forgot his birthday. I fight with him all the time, Roxas doesn't like playing with all the time, and Zexion prefers reading compared to talking or playing with him. Any one of us could've done something."

They all grew silent. All of it was true, but Axel was persistent and wanted to continue. "Xemnas yells at him for failing missions all the time; Xigbar's over-whelming and hardly ever leaves him alone; Xaldin doesn't even like him; Vexen's a creepy science freak; Lexaeus never talks to him because when he's never out on a mission, he's sleeping in his room; Saix doesn't like anyone except Xemnas; Luxord's nocturnal and never gets to talk to anyone anyway, and Larxene scares him when she's not playing with him. See, it could've been anyone of us."

Zexion nodded and grunted in agreement. "But," Roxas began, "he's not the type to get mad at people for small reasons. If nobodies even can get mad."

"Roxas is the newest here," Zexion stated, as if that explained everything. He finally turned around and faced everyone with that serious, icy look of his. "He doesn't know Demyx as well as the rest of us. Even Marluxia doesn't know him as well as Axel and I do."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Marluxia growled.

"You didn't see him when he first came to the organization," Axel answered for Zexion.

"What was he like?" Roxas asked without meaning to. Roxas was a curious person, and sometimes asked questions without meaning to.

Axel leaned back on his arms and sighed deeply. "It wasn't pretty. By the time Marluxia got here, he was all happy and cheery. All he did was cry all the time and sit there and not do anything because he didn't wanna be a nobody."

"He acts like he has a heart more than everyone else," Zexion added quietly.

The room grew silent.

"Next entry," Axel stated quietly as he turned the page.

_March 6th_

_I spent all day playing in the pool today! All up until Xemnas started yelling because I was spending too much time in the basement. When he left I started laughing! Can you believe that? I started laughing, even though he just walked in and yelled at me! I got up and left the pool, but just went and took a shower! I love loopholes now. That reminds me! I just heard a song called "Loop and Loop" by Asian Kung Fu Generation! It was so cool! Oh no, Marluxia's looking for me. I better hide this before he finds it!_

Axel let out a small sigh. Demyx was happy again, and happy Demyx was always a good thing. He suddenly realized something warm and small leaning against his back. He looked to his right (Roxas, leaning against the wall the bed was next to, reading the journal entry), and then to his left (Marluxia, leaning on his right arm reading over Axel's shoulder). It took a moment to register the only person missing before he heard a small laugh of Zexion's next to his ear as the cloaked schemer finished the entry himself.

"_Why the hell is Zexion leaning on me?_" Axel thought with a twinge of annoyance. "_Whatever, as long as he doesn't act on it._"

"The little brat!" Marluxia scowled as he finished the article. "Jeez!"

"Shut up, Marluxia," Axel responded nonchalantly. "Leave him alone. He's finally happy and you gotta call him a brat."

"Quiet," Zexion ordered, and to Roxas' surprise, they did.

"Turn the page!" Roxas ordered in a much lighter, happier tone. To Zexion's surprise, Axel did.

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Authoress note: I hope you enjoyed it! Well, I have a proposal. For those of you who know what song I based Demyx's song off of, post it in a review and if it's right, I'll… do something for you. I'll let you know next chapter who wins and what you get. XD I know it's kinda cheesy and untrustworthy, but it's fun! Go for it guys! Also, I think the next chapter will be an extra chapter, but I'm not absolutely sure. Look forward to it!

Review responses:

Mooncry – Mwhaha! I will, don't worry. I will.

Kysic – Squee! Thank you! I'm glad I can keep him in character! I hope I can keep that up! XD I do my best!

Miyo Yukimora – I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long!

Primeval Eidolon Scar – Why the quotation marks? Oh well! Thanks!

M ii K U r U. – Good. I hope I don't keep you waiting. :D


	4. Extra Entry 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Malice Mizer or their song "Beast of Blood." But I do love that song. Nor do I own Beat Crusaders or their song "Hit in the USA." And, of course Home Made Kazoku can't be owned, or the song "Thank you!!"**

Authoress note: Yeah. It's an extra chapter, just because I need to plot out the next chapter a little bit more. Well, please enjoy this.

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Extra Entry one

Zexion stared at him. He was perched across from Zexion, slouched down in his chair with both arms on either of the armrests. The jerk just barged in, and took a seat in his large chair transverse to the Cloaked Schemers bed, a pouty look on his face. Zexion raised a silver eyebrow.

"I need advice."

Zexion closed his book. "I was going to go out with Lexaeus later. He was going to buy me some books. Do you realize that if I have to sit here and listen to you, that I won't be able to get my books?" He asked in a slow, chiding tone, as if he were speaking to a child.

"Yeah, yeah. It's about the new guy, what's his name…? Demyx!"

Zexion sighed and put his book down on his nightstand. "Ok, Axel. What?"

"I wanna talk to him."

"Why?"

"Did you see him?" Axel's blue eyes lit up. "He was cute when he first came! Pathetic, yes, but still cute. And he hasn't come out of his room since that first day he got here. He plays a sitar, right? I love music! I wanna see what kinda music he's in to!" Axel smiled, and leaned forward as he talked about this perfect stranger.

Zexion sighed, the small thought of "opposites attract" crossing his mind. Fire wants to get to know water. What an odd pair they would make. "You seem pretty set on getting to know him. What's your problem?" Zexion asked bluntly in that indifferent tone.

"I don't know how to approach him," Axel smiled sheepishly as he admitted his defeat in sociality.

"Knock on his door-" As if on cue, there was a knock on Zexion's door.

A deep voice soon lingered in to the room through the heavy door. "You ready?"

"I'll be out in a minute, Lexaeus," Zexion answered, turning back to Axel.

"Tried. His door's locked," He smirked in a defiant tone.

Zexion sighed. "Break down his door and bring up music or something, for the love of God," he shot back through grit teeth. "Out, now. I'm changing before I'm leaving."

Axel stuck out his tongue, got out of the chair. "Thanks anyway," he said lazily as he left. "Oh, hey, Lexaeus." He only got a grunt in response, but didn't care much and turned down the hall towards his room. Axel stopped in front of a door with the number "IX" printed on it. He knocked on the door…

And received no reply. He knocked again, but to no avail. "Demyx," Axel called through the door. "I want to talk to you. Open the door or I'll pick the lock." Again, he got no response. He put his head up to the door, thinking that this kid might be really quiet like Zexion or Lexaeus or something. He heard rock music. "_Beast of Blood…"_Axel smiled as he recognized the song easily. It was Malice Mizer. "Hey, that's Malice Mizer! Oh, Demyx, let me listen! I love them!"

Slowly the door opened. Demyx's aqua eyes glittered in the light from the hallway. It seemed the new member couldn't conceal his passion for music. Axel could see his small figure and his delicate features now. The boy had a blonde mullet and was built like Zexion, only a little taller. His eyes were red and swollen from crying so much. "You like Malice Mizer?" He asked in a hopeful tone. Even his voice sounded cute.

"Yeah! Beast of Blood, I love that song." For the first time, someone was let in to Demyx's room, kind of. Axel pushed Demyx aside and walked in to the room. Axel, in a teasing spur, flipped the switch and flashed on the lights. Demyx covered his eyes and stumbled back on to his bed.

"Get out, get out…" He growled, glaring through the part in his fingers. His eyes were so pretty. "Leave me alone and get out."

"So why have you been crying so much? Because you don't wanna be a nobody?" Axel ignored the pleads from the small figure on the bed as he looked at the couple CD's scattered across the floor.

"Of course I don't. Brought here against my will. Why the hell would I wanna be here? Everything was taken from me. My friends, my family, my home, my memories. Who knows if I even had friends or family or a home?" Demyx turned over so his face was buried in the pillow.

"It's not that bad," Axel said as he switched off the music. "We're not that bad. I'll be your first friend here!"

"Having a friend would be admitting I'm one of you," he answered simply.

"We're better than what you used to be," Axel lied - the thought that maybe before Demyx was a nobody, he was a racist crossing his mind. "Look at these powers we have. We don't need family or friends, or memories. The mere thought of getting our hearts back is what drives us. Demyx, if all you do is sit here and cry, what do you think you'll accomplish? It won't get your old life back. You'll just waste away. The organization's offering you a way to get your heart back."

Demyx stayed as quiet as when he was listening to music. "Whatever," Axel finished. "If you won't take our offer, fine. Stay here and cry like you have a heart, instead of doing something so you can actually cry and laugh with feeling." Axel stomped out and slammed the door after him, leaving Demyx staring after him.

Early the next morning, Zexion slammed open Axel's door and pulled the sheets off of the sleeping number VIII. Axel curled up and looked at Zexion. Slowly, Axel's gaze turned down to his legs. "Dude, Zex, I'm in boxers. What the hell do you need this early in the morning?!" He yelled, fully awake in his present situation, and pulled the pants off his floor and quickly put them on.

"What did you say to him?" He asked seriously, not fazed by the fact that he just saw Axel in nothing but boxers.

"Who?" Axel shot as he slipped on a loose shirt.

"Demyx."

"Why? What did he do?" Alerted, Axel got up and prepared to run out if needed.

"Exactly."

Axel's face scrunched up in a confused fashion. "What?"

"He's out of his room, and he's singing a song. Something about hitting in America…" Zexion squinted for a minute as he strained his ears and heard Demyx's far off singing.

Axel thought for a moment, before remembering a certain song by a goofy band that sung in a language they didn't know. He smiled, and walked out of the room with Zexion. Demyx was perched on the back of the couch, behind Lexaeus who was pleasantly listening to the foreign music, an acoustic guitar he bought from Traverse Town resting carefully on his legs as he played the song and sang along. He stopped in the middle of his song as soon as he saw Axel. He smiled lightly. He struck a completely different cord from what he was playing before and began singing a hip-hop song.

"_Itsumo sasaete kureru hitotachi ni  
__Higorono omoi wo kometa rhapsody  
__Appreciation no kimochi wo todoke  
__Itsumo arigato, honto arigato  
__Tatoe doko ni tate kimi no sonzai ni  
__Kansha shiteru yo!"_ He sang. Axel smiled. Demyx swung his legs like a child as he began playing "Hit in the USA" again. Demyx played all the way in to the night. But, of course, there was no telling what Demyx did with his tears and his sadness.

Axel felt the need to consult him about it. What a pain, going up after Demyx because everyone kicked him out for playing while they were trying to sleep. Demyx was playing his sitar and playing with his water clones, up on the top of their castle. "Made some new friends, huh?" Axel teased, sitting next to Demyx.

"Yeah! Xigbar was really nice. Thank you, Axel. I'm glad you scolded me yesterday. I made a decision once you left," Demyx smiled as he struck a different cord, summoning pillars of water to burst from the ground.

"What's that?" He asked as water from the pillars poured down on them both.

"That I'd fight for a heart so I can feel, and…" Axel only wished he could hear Demyx's voice as well as he could see his mouth moving. A nearby explosion of pillars blocked out the water users last words.

"Wait, what? I couldn't hear you," he begged. If only he could read lips.

Demyx smiled. "Too bad, I'm not repeating myself. Sorry," he mocked in that same teasing voice Axel used all the time.

"What?" Axel yelled. "Hey, that's not fair! I get you new friends and you won't tell me what you said? Jeez!"

Demyx laughed. And after all this time, Axel never found out what Demyx said that night. But Demyx made friends with everyone in the Organization, save for those that were anti-social, like Vexen, or Xaldin.

But Axel was his first and his best.

* * *

Authoress note: Well, the story should be up next update. I hope you liked the extra chapter. I hope it wasn't too weird, I improvised. XD Lemmie know how I did. Nobody guessed the song (assuming anybody reads these), but it was "Moon River." Well, I want to add slash in to this. So, for once, I'm _**asking your opinion through a review: Would you mind a little slash in this story?**_ Yeah, really. I need to know how many people it would bother. 

Review responses:

Miyo Yukimora – I know, right? Everyone hate Xaldin! XD

Kysic – Sorry this took so long. Do you like humor a lot? I can try to put more in to the next chapter if you do

WhiteWolfShaera – Yay! I'm glad you enjoy it so much!

AllieReade – Sorry, I put up an extra chapter instead of the real thing! Well, I think I'll have the next chapter soon.

XNightRoseX – I know. Little Demyx is secretly really important! XD I love playing the parts of other people! I'm glad you're enjoying it so much!


	5. Entry Four

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Utada Hikaru. She belongs to no one.**

Authoress note: Back to the story

* * *

Entry Four_March 13th_

_It's been a week! I was out on a mission with Zex, this time. He's so quiet, but he's still awesome! He said he really liked the songs I played, and then asked if I'd written any of the down. He was surprised when I said not really, and that I made it a journal. Then he smiled and said he was glad I could put it to use. Anyway, we went to destroy a town of someone who might've had an idea about what we were doing. We were instructed that if he survived and became a nobody, we were to kill him. Thank God be didn't become a nobody. Killing someone twice is just too many times._

_March 14th _

_I was in the library all day for some reason. Larxene was up there, reading up on sadism or Satanism or something scary like that. I was like "whoa! That's scary!" and then she glared at me and told me to shut up because I didn't know a good religion when I saw one. I told her I was atheist. It was funny, she was all surprised and stuff. I was looking out the window, and I remembered once when Xiggy took me to Heartless Ansem's castle in Hollow Bastion. So I picked up a dictionary and looked up "bastion." The word reminded me of a crab, for some reason… Anyway, it's basically like a defense. What an ironic name. (I looked up ironic, too!)_

"He's atheist?" Marluxia breathed in disbelief. "I thought he was Christian or something…"

"You idiot, why would he be Christian?" Axel asked in a hiss.

"Quiet. Both of you," Zexion demanded in a quiet voice. "Him being atheist is _fine_, okay?"

Axel mumbled under his breath as Marluxia prepared to talk back.

"Xigbar… and… _Luxord_?" Roxas mumbled. Axel stopped and gaped with his mouth open.

"What?" Marluxia and Zexion asked in unison as they looked back in to the journal.

_March 16th _

_The strangest thing happened just now as I was gambling with Luxord. We were playing Rummy 500 (my favorite card game ever), and whoever won the hand got to play truth or dare. I won (for once. The cheating jerk), and he chose truth. I guess he was too used to playing with Xigbar, because Xiggy always makes him do crazy dares. Anyway, I asked him "who do you like?" He stopped and looked like he was gonna strangle me! Or throw cards at me… well, he got all embarrassed and he blushed (!!) and told me he liked Xigbar. We dismissed the game after that and I came to write it down in shock. OH MY GOD! LUXORD LIKES XIGBAR!_

The 4 organization members stopped as they read the entry over and over again. The Gambler of Fate and the Freeshooter. What an odd couple they'd make.

_March 17th _

_Still not over last night. I think I'll stay in here and listen to my Utada CD until tomorrow._

_March 20th_

_So, I got sent on another mission on Wednesday night (the 17th), with Vexen this time. It sucked. I was with him for 3 whole days, and you won't believe what happened! Any time he talked, it turned out to be yelling. I don't think Xemnas thinks about these things when he sends people on missions. We were supposed to screw around and send nobodies to destroy the city we were sent to. But all he did was order me around. The jerk…_

"Vexen's such a child molester," Axel put in.

"Yeah…" Marluxia agreed, eyes slanted as if he were staring at an imaginary Vexen.

Roxas opened his mouth, but decided not to, as this conversation would only get worse and worse as more was said. Zexion assumed the same thing and they both stayed quiet.

_March 21st_

_Vexen's such a child molester._

The four of them burst out laughing at the short entry. Even quiet Zexion couldn't help but laugh at least a little at the blunt statement.

_March 22nd_

_I don't know what went wrong today. As soon as I woke up and went downstairs for breakfast, Xaldin started yelling. Something about not being appreciated for his work or something like that. Then, "the superior" almost sent me on another mission with Lexaeus, only this one was gonna take a month or something. Thank God Lexaeus is a lone worker, and didn't want someone like me holding him back. Thank God he's a jerk. Then Axel came down for breakfast, and I felt like crying. I just stared at him for a while, then I came to the library because Larxene's out on a mission and I'm all alone here. So, now I'm sitting on a bookcase, crying, writing in a journal._

I honestly believe nobodies have hearts. Maybe not full hearts, or our somebody's heart, but still a heart.

The smile was wiped off Axel's face. "Wait, I made him cry?" He stuttered, rereading the diary entry.

"Well, I made him mad but I never made him cry," Marluxia spat, finally getting good payback for earlier.

"Shut up, Marluxia!" Roxas growled in his friend's defense. "Read it. He didn't say Axel did anything wrong!"

_March 23rd_

_Well… I can look at Axel without feeling bad today.

* * *

_

Authoress note: Yay, slash! XD Sorry to leave you guys hanging, really. Hope you enjoyed, as always.

Review Responses:

Miyo Yukimora – I wish I could happy wiggle. XD I'm glad there's someone else who likes AxelxDemyx. What about XiggyxLuxord?

M ii K U r U. – Yay, everyone loves cute things!

HappyCranMearii – Good then. I wouldn't either.

WhiteWolfShaera – XD I have a friend named Linda… XD

darkchild – Sorry I kept you waiting


	6. Entry Five

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sprite, Red Bull, water, or mango juice AT ALL.**

Authoress note: Lawl, thanks for 30 reviews. Sorry about the personalized drinks part… I just couldn't help myself.

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Entry Five_March 24th _

_I think I've found out why I felt like crying the other day. I was talking with Marluxia all day while we were outside in the flower gardens. He takes such good care of them. But Marluxia mentioned that when people are confused or sad or mad, sometimes they'll cry. Maybe I feel confused about Axel. Marluxia smiled and said "well, it's a good thing we don't have hearts, right, Dem?" or something like that. I can't remember because he always sounds poetic when he talks. ANYWAY, I think that I was crying because I know Axel believes we don't have hearts, so he can't love anyone. Except R-_

Axel shut the small diary before Roxas or Marluxia could finish reading the sentence. "Hey," Marluxia began as he looked up at Axel. The pink haired man began laughing to see Axel's face matching his hair. Roxas laughed to as soon as he saw his best friend blushing so badly.

"Dude, Axel…" Roxas trailed off in to laughter, unable to finish due to his unnatural mirth.

Zexion stared at Axel from over his shoulder. He made a sound as if he were going to say something, but Axel shot him a glare and he decided not to. As long as Lexaeus wasn't around.

As their laughing finally quieted, they heard the quiet echo of Vexen's voice. "MARLUXIA! Where the hell are you?!"

Marluxia's face drooped as he got up. "Hold on guys," he muttered as he stood for the first time in about an hour. Despite the numbness in his legs, he walked gracefully from the room.

And only as soon as Roxas' stomach growled did everyone realize how hungry they all were. Roxas laughed and volunteered to go get a snack for all of them. He got up and after stumbling for a bit, left to the kitchen.

"Open it," Zexion demanded in an eerily indifferent tone.

Axel wasn't even listening as he opened the journal, cheeks finally fading back to his pale complexion, and began reading the entry once again.

_Except Roxas. He told me that Roxas made him feel human. And after he told me that the other day, I felt like crying. Then the next morning I did. Jesus, how stupid can I be? I didn't realize it until just now, when I felt jealous of Roxas.  
__I'm in love with Axel.  
__Why didn't I realize it before Roxas came…? Maybe then it would be __me__ that Axel loves instead of him. Not that I don't like Roxas, he's really cool and everything. My chest hurts. Is this what a heart is really like? That sucks so bad. Maybe I don't want a heart anymore. I don't want to love Axel. It's weird, to love your best friend. I don't want that. I don't want anything between us to change. All of this is confusing…  
__Hey! Maybe emotions are all in our heads and not in our hearts._

Axel and Zexion stared at the article little innocent Demyx wrote. A sudden wave of guilt rushed over Axel. "So then it's my fault Demyx is depressed," he smiled sadly, taking a look at Zexion.

"No, it can't be," Zexion comforted in his usual voice. "There's still about another month before we get to today… It could be anything."

"Are you saying I'm nothing?" Axel hissed, his somber look changing instantly to resentment.

"Shut up, Axel. Don't start blaming yourself. You came to read and find out what was wrong, not read half and assume the last part," Zexion shot back, voice without annoyance or dismal.

The door swung open in the middle of their contest, luring both their gazes to the door. "Hey, Zex," Roxas asked as he threw a bag of chips on to the bed, closed the door with the arm that wasn't carrying soda's for all of them. "Where did Demyx go anyway?"

"Oh… On a mission with Xigbar to Hollow Bastion to find out more about the heartless, I think. Something like that. They left yesterday, so they probably won't be back until tomorrow or the day after."

Roxas stared, turned his head a little and shrugging his shoulder slightly. "Dude, how do you know everything about_ everyone_?" He inquired with a puzzled look on his face.

Zexion kept a smug expression as Axel obviously avoided even glancing at Roxas in order to keep his face a normal color. Roxas plopped down on the bed right next to Axel and ripped open the bag and popped open a green can of sprite. "So was it in the article?"

"No… We're going on without Marluxia, ok?" Axel answered as he glanced up only to snatch a Red Bull from Roxas' arm. Roxas tossed Zexion a bottle of water, and set down a can of mango juice for Marluxia.

"Ok," Roxas agreed as he snacked happily on a chip.

* * *

Authoress note: Sorry about the chapter length, and sorry I didn't update sooner. I tried making this chapter longer, but it just didn't work. It would take away from the drama. Well, I won't be able to update in like 2 weeks or something because of schooling reasons. Stupid TAKS test, arg!

Review responses:

Miyo Yukimora – XD I like it too. Suspense is fun!

yuki hibiki – Sorry I took so long

Mooncry – Oh yes. Vexen's just plain scary, ne?

WhiteWolfShaera – XD People like seeing happy people depressed for some reason, I think

hanakitsunechan7 – Omg. You like Gackt? I like L'arc En Ciel. 8D

FunnyItsNotMe – Oh yes. I know, I'm trying to discover that perfect moment.

Nameless Dragon – Yes! Demyx is too cool!

tragicpoet54 – I am? Why thank you. Plots are always nice, aren't they?

darkchild – Yay! Forgiveness! Lol


	7. Entry Six

Authoress note: Did you notice, I changed the chapters a bit? (Although only the format) Don't go back to check. (It's not worth it.)

* * *

Entry 6

Number VIII turned the page and was thankful for another entry not about Roxas. It was a simple one liner.

_March 25_

_"Nobodies" should have an X in it. Like our names._

Under the entry was a bunch of scribbles with "N O B O D Y X" written several times with all the letters except usually one crossed out with a single slash. It seemed he was trying to make a name out of those letters. How like him.

The door swung open, and a flurry of angry flower petals brushed past them and grabbed the can of mango juice. He popped open the can and took a long sip. "You go on without me?"

Before Roxas could answer yes politely, Axel felt the need to insult the preppy-looking Marluxia. "Hell yes. We wouldn't wait for you."

"You should. Vexen just told me we're to go on a mission together in a week," Marluxia enlightened with a smirk. On a more serious note, "so we'd better find out what's wrong with Demyx."

"Yeah, whatever."

Then, "a mission together?!" He dropped the diary, holding his chest and breathing hard. "Me and… Marluxia? Together? On a mission?" He fell back on to Zexion, who moaned in complaint, and pretended to be dead.

"Don't be such a child!" The flower dancer pouted, punching the redhead in the stomach. "It's an attitude like that that gets you stuck on crappy missions with me!"

Axel curled up, grabbing Marluxia's arm before he could retract. "Whatever… Don't you think we've pried enough, anyway? Maybe… Demyx would just tell us if we waited a little longer. We're all his friends, aren't we? Maybe if we just wait…"

"You're the one that started this, Axel. You just never had enough drive to carry out what you're planning. You're so weak," the man pushed, stealing his arm back from the redheads grasp. He snatched up the small diary, filled with his little friends thoughts and secrets.

Marluxia was always confused about any feelings he ever thought he had. He wouldn't consider any one person his "friend" because having a friend would require having feelings for them. Any feelings he might've thought he had, he'd gotten rid of with the careful logic that he had no heart. Without a heart, you have no emotions. You can't have friends, and you can't love. Marluxia had no feelings. He opened the diary roughly, opening to the last entry Demyx had.

_Apirl 30th_

_I wish I had a heart. Then it wouldn't be weird to have feelings, right? Xemnas says we can get hearts… but I don't know if I can believe him. We aren't really alive, if we don't have hearts, right? No blood to be pumped, no veins to be worried about. If my heart was so strong when I was actually somebody, why isn't it here now?! Who was I when I was somebody?  
__Why did I die? I have to leave on a mission soon. This sucks. No time off even when one feels depressed. Even if we can't really feel anything. Maybe that's why Vexen and Xemnas and Saix and Xaldin hate me so much.  
__Because I act like I have feelings and a heart, even though I don't. I hate not having a heart. If we can die, even though we're not really alive, aren't we like zombies? Like in the movies! Axel and I went to the movies the other day. It was cool… he paid for everything. But I really want a heart. How long will it take?  
__I'm growing impatient. But it's more than that. I want so badly to justify my feelings.  
__It's like, sometimes when I look at Roxas I feel this pit in my stomach, or Zexion, when I feel… casual. Or when Marluxia and Axel are arguing and I feel like someone should make them shut up because they're loud and annoying. When Larxene turns sadist and starts hurting someone and I feel hot and so uncomfortable that I just wanna look away but I __can't__ because if I look I don't know when she'll stop. Then Marluxia cuts his flowers and I feel like everything's safe. Or when I'm with Axel and I feel light and like I could do anything I ever wanted to. With Zexion I feel like we should play a prank. Or with Lexaeus when I feel like I have to be careful for what I say, or he might get mad. When I'm playing a song I don't know at a club, everyone watching, I'm worried I might mess up and I start shaking.  
__I can feel things, but is it all made up? When did I start feeling like this? As soon as Roxas came, I think. Then I realized my feelings. Or at least what I think are my feelings. I don't know what feelings are like. Though, I wish I did. If only I knew my somebody, then I could understand myself at least a little better. I read a book once, about someone saying similar things.  
__It was about a child going through middle school. He was terribly pitiful._

…

_HO GOD, I'M STARTING TO TALK LIKE MARLUXIA!_

The entry ended with a small stick figure of a shocked supposed-to-be-Demyx. The only distinguishable features were the mullet. Marluxia stared at the last line. He squinted and wondered if he should change the way he spoke.

Zexion finally demanded his friend's secrets. "Stop reading, you nosy, flowery son of a—" before he could finish his sentence, Roxas jumped across the bed and covered his mouth. Zexion struggled, but not enough to get away from the key bearers grip.

Axel was too busy praying to God that there was nothing about him and Roxas in there to notice Marluxia threw the diary at him. The diary landed surprisingly in his lap, opened to the last entry. Axel looked up and saw Marluxia's teeth. He was grinning, laughing even.

"What are you laughing about, Marluxia?!" Zexion yelled as soon as he broke Roxas' hold on his jaw. "Do you find Demyx's misfortune funny?" It was the first time Zexion's yelled at someone for someone else's sake.

"I find his so called emotions funny, Zexion," Marluxia giggled, slowly raising his hand to his chin. "It's intriguing to know he thinks he has emotions. At first, I wanted to know what was wrong with him. But nothing can be wrong with him, because he has no heart for anything to be wrong with. It's all in his head. As soon as he comes back, I'll be sure he knows it."

"Get out," Zexion hissed. "You're not welcome in the same room as me." Marluxia stared in awe as Zexion's cold eyes poured in to his. "He treated you as a friend and here you are laughing about his depression. Would you rather us walk around, apathetic like we don't care? Motivation is a feeling, Marluxia. Admit it. We have feelings… maybe not hearts. But we have feelings. I really believe that."

"Of course you would, Zexion," Marluxia pouted, stomping out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Axel stared at the intense expression on Zexion's face. "Hey, Zex…" The aura lightened as Zexion's expression did. "Do you… like… like Demyx?" Axel asked awkwardly, unsure of how to phrase his words completely. Zexion's eyes got wide as he digested what he'd just been asked.

The door opened with a thud as the small figure entering kicked off his boots and slowly turned his puffy gaze towards them. "What are you all doing in my room?" Demyx asked, wiping his eyes and staring at his 3 friends. "Why do you have my diary…?"

* * *

Authoress note: I hope you like this chapter. The climax! XD Thanks for the support. I love you all.

For those anonymous people:

ghfh – Er… One sided on both counts

darkchild – Will do. Sorry it took forever.

viking106 – Yes. Vexen is a child molester.

DarkEmoGirl – Zexion has always been cute. XD

yuki hibiki – Arg, I know! I hate that. I never wanna do that… Don't ever let me, Yuki, ok?


	8. Entry Seven

**Disclaimer: Lol, I don't own Gackt…? He'd sue if I said I did…**

Authoress note: Last chapter! XD I didn't expect this fic to be so short. I've been having trouble with what to do with this chapter. Sorry it's taken so long.

* * *

Entry Seven

"Axel, how_ could_ you?" Demyx pleaded, on the verge of tears. "How… And Zexion and Roxas, too…" He trudged over, gently taking his diary back and holding it to his chest. And with every blink, another tear fell.

For a moment, they all just stared in awe. They made Demyx cry; they, his best friends. "Axel, you… I broke my promise."

"What promise?" Axel asked tenderly, though his insides were squirming and his head was frantic trying to think of a promise Demyx made for him. To no avail, he found no promise making from Demyx (a lot from Xigbar and Luxord after gambling, but none from Demyx). As far as he could remember, there was nothing of a promise from Demyx.

"That first night… I said I wouldn't cry anymore, but I can't help it…" The blonde forced through shaky breaths as attempts to stop and unwelcome tears. His knees gave out as he slowly sunk to the ground, shaking with his face in his hands. "I'm sorry, I broke my promise."

"Out," Zexion ordered after a few moments of nothing but the sound of number IX's sobs. Before anybody could protest to his order, Zexion was on his knees next to Demyx with an aid of comforting words. Roxas and Axel slowly obeyed and rushed out of the room.

Roxas, who ideally had nothing to do with the main problem, left to get something to eat, only a second glance at Axel, who was confused and dazed by Demyx's words. Axel, meanwhile, wandered absently to his room.

Once in the safety of his room, the red head began throwing a fit. Or rather, throwing vases and pillows across the room so one would know he was throwing a fit. He blared his stereo on, until gothic metal rang through the entire castle. The sound of Gackt's voice and breaking metal filled his ears.

As long as it kept the sound of his friends depression out of his ears.

Banging woke Axel up from his dreams and fantasies. He rose slowly from the wreckage previously known as his room and vacantly looked at the pain in his hands. They were shiny and red, and sticky and bleeding; his hands were burned from anger, and cut from glass. Good fucking morning. "Come in," he called instead of being polite and opening it.

Xigbar busted through the door, instead of being polite and opening it. "You. You're all Demyx was talking about on the mission. It was always how he broke some promise to you when he first came. He was really quiet, though. And that's just scary. I blame you wholly and completely. "

The younger man's head slowly turned up to number II's face. "Shut up, you whore," he demanded with evenly spaced words. "Ok? I know Demyx is upset and it's all my fault. You don't have to rub it in…" He stood up blowing slightly on his hands. "He cried because I'm an ass, and can't stop crying because he thinks I hate him for crying… what naiveté…" Purposely using naiveté instead of stupidity, Xigbar realized how sensitive Axel could be when he's not a jerk.

"So, Axel… tell me. How hard_ is_ it to forgive someone?" He thinks he must've waited for 5 whole seconds before getting bored and leaving Axel to hate himself for making Demyx cry.

A few moments of silence between himself and his thoughts, and an apprehensive Zexion walked in. Zexion opened his mouth, but it wasn't his voice he heard. "I'm sorry, don't be mad. I'll go talk to Demyx right now."

"You'd better not."

"I_ have_ to. If I don't, he'll just keep crying… and that's worst of all. I mean, I really really feel bad that he's been crying because of me…"

"No. Marluxia's there now… it'll only get worse if both of you are in there at once."

"_Marluxia?_ You left Demyx alone with Marluxia?" He growled. "What are you stupid?"

"No, I was just thinking I needed to speak with you." Zexion pushed Axel back on to his bed. "Listen. Demyx thinks you'll hate him for breaking some promise. You have to assure him you don't. Now, he cried because he isn't sure if his feelings are real or not. He needs to form his own opinion about all this… But Axel, before any of that happens, he needs to get his mind straight and stop crying."

"I don't know what promise he means, Zexion! I don't remember us ever making a promise! And besides, it's childish to cry over something like that… I'm gonna go free him from Marluxia." Axel sped out before the fair-haired shorty could say anymore.

He could hear Marluxia through the door, lecturing Demyx about feelings. A few moments later, he emerged from the room, completely soaked, with an expression of pure hate. Axel, hoping it was safe, peeked in and saw Demyx fully equipped with his sitar. It evaporated in to bubbles and left Demyx alone in the room. Now was Axel's chance to strike.

"You haven't done anything wrong! Forgive yourself like everyone else has!" He stuttered loudly. Perhaps it was the nervousness getting to him.

Demyx turned, completely shocked, and the happiest he's looked for a month or so. Axel stood stupidly in the doorway, just waiting for some sort of reaction from Demyx. But what he saw wasn't what he expected.

The blonde smiled. Or at least, his lips did. Meanwhile, his eyes were begging to close and stay closed for a good eight or nine hours. "Axel," he began slowly. "I think you'll be glad to know during that god forsaken mission with Xigbar, while killing several people with no guilt whatsoever, I think I've begun to understand. At least a little. People like Zexion and Xigbar and Xemnas, who all remember being human, believe they have feelings. Meanwhile, Marluxia and Luxord and I all aren't sure. Because we don't remember. I think Marluxia's a pansy and doesn't want to accept anything that could crush his hopes and dreams. I think I've begun to understand."

Axel stared. "Wait, wait… I'm confused."

"Yeah… I am, too," Demyx rubbed his eyes with a yawn and decided to lie down. He grabbed a pen and his diary and scribbled something on to the page with no reference to the lines. "I also learned… that promises to yourself, if you're stubborn, are worth much more than a promise to a friend." He threw the pen at Axel with an accusing look and held up the diary for him to read.

_May 9th  
I promise to myself, that I'll never cry again.  
The end.

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_

The very end. :) My apologies, the end might seem a bit corny. And I'm not good at ending things. Again, sorry it took so long.


End file.
